Groton’s Fantasy Footballers

Some people care about fantasy football. Some people love fantasy football. Still others are addicted to the intrigue and statistical analysis that it brings. However, some men — specifically, twelve angry ones — live fantasy football.

I am of course referring to Groton’s premier fantasy football league, Twelve Angry Men. In this league, comprised of a dozen members of Viacava’s 2011-2012 dorm, the stakes are always high and the games are always close. I am proud to call myself a stalwart member of the heralded group.

Led by controversial commissioner Ejaaz Jiu, who loves his patented draft strategy almost as much as he loves the “Veto Trade” button, this season so far has been an exciting one. The fun started with Johnny Lamont riding Peyton Manning’s huge 7-touchdown night to a victory over the commissioner himself.

However, since that lopsided beginning, parity has been the name of the game. Only two of the twelve teams, those of Hayward Berkowitz and Frank “The Tank” Bruni remain unbeaten at 2-0. Yours truly is somehow 0-2, largely due to Ravens RB Ray Rice seemingly forgetting how to play football. Every pundit said to take him high, and I did. But that is fantasy football. Old stars fade away, and unheard-of scrubs become hot items.

What separates Twelve Angry Men from other leagues is the intense and sometimes unorthodox competition. I recently negotiated a monetary deal with Hayward Berkowitz in order to acquire the services of Seattle’s star quarterback Russell Wilson. Meanwhile, Turner “T-Daddy” Banwell has inexplicably taken Panthers quarterback Cam Newton with his first round pick for three straight years now, despite his lack of consistency and fourth-round grade. This may all sound crazy, but to us, it is just part of the game, part of the pursuit for the trophy.

For now, the two-foot, gold-plated  trophy rests untouched in some deep corner of the Lamont household, without a single mark on it. Come winter, however, a new name will be etched on it, and only eleven of us will remain angry.

So stay tuned—the season is young, and the NFL, as always, will be exciting and unpredictable. For now, we will not so patiently wait all week for Sunday.

Leave a Reply